The tears flow like an ocean
A waterfall, never ending
You just give up ......
You don't even feel like pretending

Pretending that all is fine
Pretending that's a real smile on your face
Pretending that life is good
When, in fact, it's deep heartache you embrace

And so you pretend behind a mask
Joyful and lighthearted
No one knows, so it seems
That true joy has parted

You become so unsure
Filled with doubt
Then the tears seep through the mask
Your secret is out

That "one day" comes .....
And you can't pretend any more
A knot in the pit of your stomach
Grows into a malignant aching core

Malignant, in the sense
That just like cancer, can kill
Depression can kill
Because you lose your will .....
To live

"Snap out of it" they say .....
But what do "they" know
Deep, dark, black depression
There is no snapping out of this evil woe

"You just need to get out" they say ....
Get out?
When stepping out the front door
You dread ....
When you can sleep for, not hours, but days
Never leaving your bed

And when you're not sleeping
You're crying
And when you're not crying
You're thinking of ways of dying

And when you wake-up
Again you cry ....
With sobs of anguish screaming out
to the Lord ...
"Why won't you let me die?!"

Oh yes ....
It's a bleak picture I paint for you
And if you've never been depressed
but, a family member or friend
Then it's time you knew ....

There IS NO snapping out ....
It's NOT just a blue day
It's NOT just a little sadness
and feeling a little down
It's a deep black pain in the very center
of your soul ... and it won't go away

There is no joy in laughing
There is no joy in being with family & friends
There is no joy in giving or receiving
There is NO joy .....
There is only giving up on living
And giving in to grieving

It is a journey .....
Seems like one that will never end
But, happiness does come back ...
Trust me, my friend

A journey of many tears
Perhaps, spanning many years
But you WILL survive
You MUST ....
Because one day
You will look back and say
It's good to be alive!

And the mask will come off
And your soul will heal
And the joy will return
And again you will feel


For our many Internet friends
that have been or are, right now, depressed,
I know you understand exactly what I'm saying
Don't give up, please.

And for our Internet friends that have
never felt this kind of depression
I've tried to help you understand
by explaining.

Depression is an illness ...
Just like heart disease or sugar diabetes.
There is medication to take for depression.
Unfortunately there's hundreds
of different kinds.

It's by trial and error the doctor finds
the right medication, just for you.
And when he does ....
When you start feeling better ...
Never and I mean NEVER stop
taking your medication, whatever you do.



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Original Poem © 7/30/05 - Revised 11/08/07
All poetry Original & Revised were written by
Kathryn Sunday Davis
Unless otherwise noted on the page.

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