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My idea of a balanced diet
is a cookie in each hand.
I went on a diet, for two weeks
and lost fourteen days!
I'm on Weight Watchers AND Jenny Craig
because the one wasn't giving me enough food.
I BREATHE ... THEREFORE I EAT!
MY NEW DIET GOAL:
To weigh what my drivers license says.
DIET TIP:
Drinking four glasses of water before every meal
will help you lose weight,
because you'll burn up a lot of calories
running to the bathroom.
I'M NOT OVERWEIGHT,
I'M UNDERTALL.
I'm not fat I'm fluffy ...
I keep trying to lose weight
but it always finds me.
I bleed grease.
Dieting Is The Penalty
For Exceeding The Feed Limit.
I put butter on my butter
Dear Lord, If I can't be skinny,
please let my friends be fat.
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