~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~

My idea of a balanced diet
is a cookie in each hand.

I went on a diet, for two weeks
and lost fourteen days!

I'm on Weight Watchers AND Jenny Craig
because the one wasn't giving me enough food.

I BREATHE ... THEREFORE I EAT!

MY NEW DIET GOAL:
To weigh what my drivers license says.

DIET TIP:
Drinking four glasses of water before every meal
will help you lose weight,
because you'll burn up a lot of calories
running to the bathroom.

I'M NOT OVERWEIGHT,
I'M UNDERTALL.

I'm not fat I'm fluffy ...

I keep trying to lose weight
but it always finds me.

I bleed grease.

Dieting Is The Penalty
For Exceeding The Feed Limit.

I put butter on my butter

Dear Lord, If I can't be skinny,
please let my friends be fat.

~*~~*~~*~

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