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Dear God:
Is it on purpose our names are the same,
only reversed?
Dear God:
Why do humans smell the flowers,
but seldom, if ever, smell one another?
Dear God:
When we get to heaven,
can we sit on your couch?
Or is it still the same old story?
Dear God:
Why are there cars named after the jaguar,
the cougar, the mustang,
the colt, the stingray,
and the rabbit,
but not ONE named for a Dog?
How often do you see a cougar riding around?
We do love a nice ride!
Would it be so hard to rename
the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'?
Dear God:
If a Dog barks his head off in the forest
and no human hears him, is he still a bad Dog?
Dear God:
We Dogs can understand
human verbal instructions, hand signals,
whistles, horns, clickers,
beepers, scent ID's,
electromagnetic energy fields,
and Frisbee flight paths.
What do humans understand?
Dear God:
More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
Dear God:
Are there mailmen in Heaven?
If there are, will I have to apologize?
Dear God:
Let me give you a list
of just some of the things
I must remember to be a good Dog.
1. I will not eat the cats' food before
they eat it or after they throw it up.
2. I will not roll on dead sea gulls,
fish, crabs, etc.,
just because I like the way they smell.
3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.
4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.
5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
6. I will not play tug-of-war
with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch
is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'.
8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up
when I'm under the coffee table
9. I must shake the rainwater
out of my fur
before entering the house - not after.
10. I will not come in from outside
and immediately drag my butt across the carpet.
11. I will not sit in the middle
of the living room and lick my crotch.
12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy'
so when I play with him
and he makes that noise,
it's usually not a good thing.
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