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YIKESSSSSSSSSS!!!
My worst fear
It's that time ....
Yes, THAT time of year

From store to store ....
Full speed ahead, no stoppin'
Gotta do some
Bathing suit shoppin'



Here I go ....
I stroll up and down the aisle
Lookin' at this one and that...
My face has no smile

I'll try one on .....
I guess I better grab a few more
You know what this is gonna be??
It's gonna be a CHORE!!



Into the fitting room I go
Like I'm off to the guillotine
This is NOT a sight
That should be seen!

I tug and I pull
And THAT'S just to my knees
What's this?!?!?
Looks like cottage cheese!!!



Ai-Yi-Yi!!!
This is SOOOO unreal
GOOD GRIEF!! ....
THOSE are NOT buns of steel!!!

And what the heck are these?!?!
I really should be doing this in the dark
Here a mark, there a mark
Everywhere a STRETCH MARK
E - I - E - I - OOOOO
NOOOOOOOOO!!!



This is a trick .... Right?!?!
It just HAS to be
This is one of those 'Fun House' mirrors
'Cause that's NOT ME!!

Now that I've got it on
I gotta tug here and tug there
Everything is hangin' out .....
EVERYWHERE!!



It Cost HOW MUCH?!?!?!?!!
They chargin' THAT, for THIS thing?!?!
There's no material
Just a few pieces of STRING!!

That's It
I'm done
Summer is supposed to be
FUN!!



SOOOO
I'm makin' a reservation
I'm goin' to the
NORTH POLE
For MY Summer Vacation!!!

You can lead a woman to a bathing suit
Like I said before ....
But you CAN'T make her wear it!!
Need I say more?!?!
:-p

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